A man without a van

Day 60

Early to rise and early to see Old Faithful. There were a ton of people grouped around, waiting for the bastard to explode. It exploded. And then we left as quickly as possible. It felt like one of those touristy things that you have to do, and yeah the water came out the ground right on time, and yeah the water was probably pretty hot, but there were tons of other geysers in the park and it was hard to believe that this one was terribly more spectacular. Nice to see and nice to move on.

The Grand Tetons (meaning “great titties,” named after some horny French dudes’ idea of what boobies look like) are quite amazing. They just come jutting out of the ground next to a flat meadow and lake. Micah and I rented a canoe to head out onto the lake and get a view of the titties up close. There are no roads that lead to the mountains themselves, so you either hike or paddle, and our legs were a little tired of all the hiking.

Nighttime brought about a fire with wood that wasn’t quite dry and was a bitch and a half to get started. The goal: roast some hoof. And man, that was some tasty hoof.

Day 61

Starting the day with a short 7.5 mile hike is not Seth’s usual morning routine. But we were hiking along a string of lakes at the foothills of the Tetons and the weather was perfect so Seth relented. Totally worth it. Great hike, and probably the most beautiful landscape on the trip thus far.

The second half of the day was driving into the hell-hole that is Jackson, Wyoming. I think everyone who speaks fondly of that place must have been there like 30 years ago because at this point in time it’s a zoo of tourists walking around wooden sidewalks, buying hideous t-shirts and “old-timey” photos of themselves in cowboy hats. The whole place reeked of awfulness as arches into the town square were made of thousands of antlers, and the only shops around the square were either ice-cream or junk. Nothing fun. Nothing original. Weak. Instead of all that garbage we went to a cafe to use the internet to see if there was something interesting happening at night. There were two music options: a hootenanny and an American-alt band. We headed to the hootenanny. Then we realized that the hootenanny was at a resort. How the hell are we supposed to get the local flavor at a resort? Stupid.

So we went to the American-alt band, which turned out to be at a restaurant that served buckets of peanuts as an appetizer (and you threw the shells on the floor!) and had a field where kids ran around and played soccer. I wanted to go dominate, but refrained. I would have annihilated them.

Day 62

Today was a driving day. A day to get across Idaho to Stacey. And we almost made it. Almost. After passing through terrible looking little towns in the middle of a terribly hostile looking desert, we broke down. The real kind this time. The kind where you press on the gas pedal and you don’t move. There we were, sitting in the hot ass desert waiting for a tow truck to bring us to....where? My AAA coverage takes me 3 miles. We were about 20 miles from anywhere in either direction with closest options being Arco (backwards), or Carey, which has literally nothing. Just like every other time on this trip though, we got a little bit lucky. The tow truck driver, Troy, shows up while I’m on the phone with my uncle, trying to see if we can determine the problem. My uncle and I figure it’s nothing that can be fixed, and Troy called his boss and told us that we’re covered to Hailey - and nowhere else. 50 miles away, Hailey was actually our destination. Sometimes you have to wonder how things like this work out. (Micah actually surmised that perhaps Troy was just saying we were covered to Hailey because he felt bad for us and he was going to Hailey anyway. This, however, was never proven.)

Troy also turned out to be a pretty cool guy. He plays drums in a band - Kim Stockings - that had a show the next night. We told him we’d be there.

When Micah and I got to Hailey we biked to the local brewery to wait for my best friend Stacey to finish band practice. The beer was pretty good too, so waiting wasn’t too terrible. And it was great seeing Stacey when she arrived. I really don’t get to see her enough, and we always have a fun, laughy time when we’re together. Plus, she and her boyfriend Billy called everyone in town to see where to take my van, telling me about this guy Matt Garner who is an expert on VW vans and has a shop about 2 miles south. So I just cross my fingers and wait to call Matt the next day.

Day 63

Matt Garner is pretty booked, but he’ll take a look tomorrow, so I just have to be patient. Stacey has to work (her one day per week), so Micah and I are on our own here in Hailey. We check out the (what else?) local coffee shop and bike around town to get a feel for the place. It feels quite a bit like Sonoma County. I guess a lot of places do. And here I thought I lived somewhere unique. Silly me.

That night we meet up with Stacey to go to the Wicked Spud and listen to the local phenom, Kim Stockings (and say hi to our buddy Troy). The music is pretty good, but they’re a cover band, so nothing was new or exciting. Just a lot of well done covers of old rock and country songs. Thanks to Stacey we meet about half the town of Hailey - mainly a bunch of really nice dudes who love Stacey (as everyone seems to do), and other interesting people like a guy who hustles people at ping pong on this decrepit table, and another guy who plays guitar in the fashion of old NES games. This seems like a pretty cool place.

We drink a bit too much on this night, making the morning just a bit more painful.

Day 64

I’m the only one who has to wake up early (7:45!) to take my poor van to the shop. It takes me a long time too because any time you slow down the van just cuts out. So you can move forward, but any time you slow down you have to turn the van off, put it back in drive and go forward until you slow down again. I took some back roads so that people wouldn’t get pissed at the stupid VW that was acting a bit too much like what people think of when they think of VWs.

Matt and I take it around to see if we can diagnose the issue. He’s a little confused by how my van is acting, but comes up with what he thinks is the problem. Prognosis: transaxle. This is scary for two reasons: 1) I’ve never heard of that thing, and 2) It sounds expensive. The cloudiness I’m experiencing from all the pints from the night before aren’t really softening the news. I leave the van with Matt and just have to wait for a call to let me know what he finds out for sure.

I bike back to Stacey’s on this really nice road that meanders along a river and various little creeks. It takes about half an hour to get back, and I’m hungry! Sure hope there’s breakfast when I get baaaaaack.......nope. They’re still in bed. But eventually people leave the soft beds, and Stacey makes me a breakfast sandwich, which is delicious.

Micah and I go for a bike ride and picnic by the river in the afternoon, waiting for Stacey’s show that evening with her band “No Cheap Horses.” They’re quite good, but Stacey stands out as being the most engaging band member and she isn’t showcased nearly enough. Sometimes bands just don’t realize what they have until it’s too late.

Day 65

News: the repair will be a lot of money. The actual amount is still to be determined, but $1200-$1500 is the guess. Shite!

Stacey is picking up our other friend Sophia from the airport today, and the plan is to go to the lake (reservoir) with this guy Matt (not my mechanic) on his boat. Unfortunately, Stacey and Sophia get delayed (by Red Lobster and Target of all things) and Micah and I have no way of getting to Matt and his boat. So Micah and I spend our last day together (of this trip, of course) down by the river in the sun. It was really nice to be able to just hang out together and talk. Without our van, things have been a little different. We’ve been sleeping on the floor of a friend’s house (which we were both quite thankful for), but the comfort of the van and all our familiarity with living together in the little bus had shifted to kind of living in a house. Plus, the two of us were trying our best to not be sad that she was leaving. It was hard.

In the interim Stacey got kicked out of her band “No Pretty Horses” because, as all of us agreed, her band leader is a bitch. It essentially boiled down to Stacey being in too many bands, but still, what a stupid decision. Everyone last night was hollering when Stacey was singing lead, and when her “band leader” was singing we heard such things as “turn it up, guitar man.” Just saying.

That night, Billy cooked us all dinner, which consisted of some fresh caught trout with tidewater sauce (what the hell is that?), salad with roasted beets (which I originally heard as beef), and dessert at Billy’s restaurant. It’s not his, per se, but he seems to be well liked by everyone in the community so he always seems to be able to pull some strings. I got some carrot cake with ice cream. So delicious. Everything we ate that night was amazingly tasty.

Micah and I spent the last night together at Stacey's house, and it was really nice to be able to just relax and be together.

Day 66

With no van we had to rely on Billy’s connections to get us a good deal on a rental car, which was super nice of him. And Billy and Stacey actually brought us some breakfast as well. They’re good people. That’s for sure.

Micah got her last stuff out of the van and said goodbye to the little metal box that had been so good to us on this trip. Sad day indeed.

The drive to Boise is pretty ugly - lots of shrubbery and brown. Micah laughed at the sign that said “Welcome to Boise National Forest.” She said, “I don’t even see a single tree.” Her eyes did not deceive her.

The car we got was really fast (everything is compared to my van), and we got to Boise early enough for some lunch at a Mexican food whose “competition is in Mexico.” Except that it was only OK, so I doubt that their closest competition is a thousand miles away.

The goodbye at the airport was sad and teary (or, as Micah calls it, leaky). We said goodbye for now, and I drove back to Hailey alone.

The rest of the day was fun, but would have been a lot more fun if I didn’t just say goodbye to Micah and instead enjoyed it with her. We went to a reservoir with Billy’s friend Shane, who took us out on a boat to try out some water-skiing. I was not particularly good, but I did stand up and have a few fantastic wipeouts. I think my leg bent out completely sideways one time. Stacey and Billy tried to outdo each other while Sophia took pictures of all of us. Great time.....just could have been better.

That night there was a band - Old Man Markley - that Micah and I had actually seen in San Francisco, but they’re quite awesome and worth seeing again. They’re a nine piece bluegrass band that puts out a massive bundle of sound. Washboard, mandolin, harmonica, fiddle, all awesome. The crowd was odd though. Like something you’d see in San Diego. We were in Ketchum, which is north of Hailey, and more of the resort/yuppy area. The people there were dressed like people in southern California, and acting just as douchey. In addition there were a couple of guys whose dance moves were comprised of jumping as high as they could and flailing about as wildly as possible. There was also a bachelorette party there, so you can pretty much imagine what that was like. Luckily the music drown out most of it, and the night was fun regardless. Old Man Markley are like musical energy.