Made of the strongest steel

Day 7

It only rains on certain days in my life. Those days? Van days. Every day we try to work on the van it rains. Without fail. It’s been hard not to get too discouraged, but I’m fighting through it. The most recent problem is the fridge, which emits noxious odor when it’s being used on propane. This is a problem because it turns out that the fridge can only run from about 10 hours off the auxiliary battery before dying. Battery while driving. Propane while parked or camping. So this is kind of important.

We take the fridge out, clean it, put it back in, and it’s the same smell. Crap. Stay positive. Stay positive.

Day 8

Ah, sunshine. Both in weather and temperament forms. The fridge smells, but the weather is nicer and Micah has now joined me in dear ol’ Humboldt. I was hoping all the van business would be taken care of by the time she arrived, but it couldn’t be avoided. Well, that’s not true. When she arrived I told her about the rear window incident by succinctly pointing to the parked backhoe and exclaiming “I straight backed into that hoe!” I’m hilarious. And I wasn’t even trying.....too hard.

With Micah aboard it’s also my cue to do something fun, so I take the opportunity to drive through the Bottoms in Arcata out to Mad River Beach, where we take a hike along the beach. The plan was to get to the mouth of the Mad, but it’s a hell of a lot farther than I thought, so we settled for a nice seat near between the river and ocean, which was nice enough.

I also got to introduce her to my family, and of course they fell in love with her. Runner up isn’t bad, and I’m OK with that position. All she had to do was be charming and smart and help with dishes and BAM! She’s now the favorite.

Since my dad and stepmom also came up for a visit (one goodbye is never enough), we all went out to Tomo’s - the local suchi eatery. Dirt cheap rolls (by sushi standards), made for a belly full of delicious dead fish. Yum. This night also proved to be the christening of the van. For both fun and privacy I moved out of my uncle and aunt’s nice soft bed and into the pop-top. And it’s a nice stormy night in the van.

Day 9

The highlight of the trip so far. By far. My dad, uncle, Micah, and I all go to “Sci-Fi and pint and pizza” night at the Arcata Theater. It used to be the main movie theater in Arcata, but ever since I left it’s been out of business. They just couldn’t afford the loss of one of their best and most awesome customers. But it has recently been revived into an arts and old movies type theater. So instead of showing the big blockbusters they have screenings of “The Big Lebowski.” And I don’t hear anyone complaining. Every Wednesday they show old sci-fi movies from the 50s and 60s. Entrance is free as long as you buy $5 worth of concessions. This would be mildly annoying except for that the concessions are beer, wine, pizza, french fries, burgers, chocolate covered rice crispy squares, etc. In other words, how do you ever spend less than $5? We all got beers and walked into the newly renovated theater, which has tables and chairs, a bar, and a full stage. It looks not too unlike the Mystic in Petaluma, but nicer since it’s been recently designed. We watch “Invaders From Space,” which stars Starman fighting off the Salamander people invading Earth and using radioactive beams they shoot out of their mouths to both poison and control people. Luckily, Starman is made of the strongest steel and fights them off using half-hearted acrobatics and fighting techniques that would only be used in a karate class for 3-year-olds when everything is taught in slow motion. He can also fly and turn left. I highly recommend it. The special effects are breathtaking, the costumes are inspired, and you’re on the edge of your seat the entire time because you just never know if Starman will show up in time to save everyone. Four stars.

This helped me forget that I had to repair my bike since it apparently got bent when I backed into the hoe. Fucking hoes. That’s one I’ll never forget.

Day 9

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times. **This quote will only be understood by a select few** Everything is pretty much in order at this point. After a heartfelt goodbye from my parents Micah and I head out to Patrick’s Point for a bike ride, hike, and picnic, and to give my aunt and uncle a rest from all us rambunctious kids. The weather is the most perfect since I’ve been up here - warm and sunny. So we enjoy it while it lasts. Little bunnies, squirrels, and deer are happily wandering the park as we come jetting down on our sweet bikes. I gave Micah a bike for her birthday (it’s still early yet), and she’s trying to get the hang of it. It’s like watching a little kid trying out a bike that’s bigger than he or she is used to. It’s funny. But by the end of the trip she’s leaving me in the dust with her crazy speed.

The day is capped off by a soak in the Finnish Hot Tubs in downtown Arcata. A bit of hot steam. A bit of warm water and cold air. Frogs, bats, trees. A bit of naked. Nice night.

After the soak we sit in the cafe there for a hot chocolate and a go at the NY Times crossword puzzle. We suck miserably at it (our only justification is that it’s the Saturday edition). Damn you Will Shortz. But we don’t suck as much as the girl sitting behind us trying to answer such mind-busting trivia puzzles as “what makes soda fizzy” (she got close with carbon), and “what is the heaviest mammal on earth” (rhinoceros - swing and a miss).

Day 10

And it now is actually underway. After another sad goodbye, this time to my aunt and uncle, who have been housing, feeding, and helping me for the past 10 days, Micah and I set off on the grand adventure. Destination: unknown. We head north along 101, stopping for a nice hike on the cliffs above the Klamath River during which we walk past a ton of snakes (I think I saw 14), and watch seals, pelicans, and osprey down below. I overheard some guy in the parking lot say that the bird flying right in front of us was a peregrine falcon, but I cannot confirm this. We also stop briefly at Myrtle Beach on the Smith River, which was a beautiful clear green. There was a small set of rapids down river, but we just happened to stop at a huge expanse of river that was smooth as glass, allowing me to show off my tremendous rock-skipping skills. I threw one so perfectly that after it skipped 7-9 times it just started to glide across the water. If the county had set up some sort of super slow-mo camera to watch all the amateur rock-skippers they would have seen a man in a green shirt throwing the rock of his life. It must have skipped 30 times. I am the best. Bring it on.

All the camping along the Smith River is State Parks charging something like $35 a night. So Micah and I stop in at this little roadside store in Gasquet. I asked the guy about camping and he told us about some free camping up along Shelley’s Creek (just past Patrick’s Creek). And here I am. 2 miles up a dirt road, parked next to a creek in my van with the rain coming down. Eating a bagel. I’m now in foreign territory, but some things just never change.

**Note** Tonight also marks the first night where I have a nightmare about people sneaking up on unsuspecting van campers and try to kill them. In the dream three people barricade the van with their cars so that there’s no escape. But luckily I escape! (I drive forward instead of backward). Then I drive off. But along the dirt road I see a man stumbling and bloody. So I stop to pick him up. BUT!! It turns out he’s the bad guy. In an incredible display of horsepower prowess my van gains a great deal of speed so that I can slam on the brakes and make the bad guy going flying into the dash, breaking his neck. He’s obviously pretty strong too, as he doesn’t die. So I do it again. Victory.

In the end I wake up with lights shining on the van and my heart racing. I figure it’s some people shining their car lights on us, blocking us in. So I look out the curtains. No cars. Turns out the light is coming from what some people call “morning.” I rarely see this event, so it’s a little jarring. At least I’m safe.